how many goats do i have to sacrifice to get chris evans’ ice bucket challenge in the next 48 hours
So how many did you sacrifice
one per hour
*goes to a party and awkwardly follows freind around the entire time*
being called annoying is literally the worst thing ever because then you’re scared to ever say or do anything again and you end up isolating yourself because you think everyone hates you and you feel insecure about everything. long story short pls dont call people annoying
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
life is hard when you’re an ugly girl that likes cute boys
1 follower = egg
10-40 followers = hatchling
50-99 followers = baby dragon
100-349 followers = dragon
350-500 followers = still a dragon
501-799 followers = mega dragon
800- 4,999 followers = super hella dragon
5000+ followers = UNHOLY OFFSPRING OF LIGHTNING AND DEATH
These are the legit numbers.
Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” as a swear word
do u ever just cum and it ain’t great and ur like “ok that one was super lame”